gramma

I finally have a grandson that I can hold, and hug, and that doesn’t cry when he sees me.  When I returned from my adventure in Chicagoland, Lennon was not used to seeing me, didn’t know me, and didn’t want to know me.  For a few months now it’s been a slow process of getting him comfortable around me.  His mom said he had a thing about dark hair, and that a dark-haired friend of hers caused the same reaction in him.  So I tried pulling my hair back when I was around him.  That helped some, but there was still a lot of apprehension on his part about getting too close to this goofily smiling stranger that looked like a Grimm Fairy Tale witch.

It was frustrating and lessened my joy of being around him, of course, but nonetheless just being able to see him, how he’s grown, and his interaction with his dad, was better than not seeing him at all.  Slowly, as he started to realize this person was going to be around so get used to it, he because less afraid of me.  There were a few visits where, by the end of our time together, I at least got a kiss.  Then one night, I went to visit while Seth was there with him.  Before I left, we sat on the end of the bed watching his favorite show, and I reached over and held his hand.  He didn’t flinch and say “noooo”.  Of course he was oblivious, watching Phineas and Ferb.  But it was something. 

A week or so later, I was asked to babysit him while his mom went to dinner.  Oh boy….big test.  Seth was there for the first hour or so, but when he left, I expected tears and cries of “mom!!!” or “dada!!!” and a miserable couple of hours while he was scared out of his mind.  Quite the opposite.  He didn’t seem to notice that Dada wasn’t there anymore and we played, and ran through the house, and watch “shows” and he was fine.  Still didn’t want me to hold him or be too close for too long, but it was wonderful.  At the end of the evening, I got a big hug and a big thanks from Mom.  Finally! Gramma can babysit!!

Just yesterday, I was at Seth’s when Lennon came to spend the night.  At one point I grabbed him and his “nigh-night” – which is any fuzzy blanket – and sat down on the sofa with him in my lap.  He didn’t cry, he didn’t squirm to get away, he just sat contentedly with Gramma.  Seth smiled, I smiled – it seemed the fear of the dark-haired stranger was gone.

I’ve imagined time with grandkids; watching them play in the yard, baking cookies with them, drawing sidewalk pictures with chalk, teaching them the things grammas teach grandkids.  I don’t know if there will be more than Lennon, which does make me a bit sad, but even if there’s only him, we will be best buddies and Gramma will be that fun old lady that he loves to visit.  I’ll spoil him mercilessly, let him do all the things he’s not allowed at home, stay up all night watching movies, learn to use a knife, get muddy from head to toe, drive before he’s fifteen.

This Gramma will be a partner in crime as well as disciplinarian, like my Granny was to all of us grandkids.  When Lennon, and any others that might come along, is grown, I hope he remembers me the way I remember her – laughing, shooing, teaching, inspiring….and making the best big ol’ teacakes in the world.