I just put dinner in the oven. It's a tuna casserole that my Aunt Sis (who is one of my readers - thanks Aunt Sis!!) gave me the recipe for years and years and years ago. It's still the only tuna casserole I like. When the kids were growing up, it was a bit of a staple around our house. It's cheap, easy, and yummy, and those were the kind of meals necessary in our little farm house in Fackler.
When the kids got out on their own, they each called at some point asking for the recipe. They both also have the recipe for Beef Noodle Bake, which was my mom's favorite dish to make, and my brother Tim's favorite to eat. I guess both recipes have become a sort of tradition in my family - three generations and counting. So, as I was putting together the casserole, I was thinking about traditions.
When I became mom, I knew that I wanted my kids to have a strong family base. Not necessarily to be living on a compound with all the kin around, but to learn to value family. Growing up myself, we had what I didn't consider traditions at the time, but looking back, we did things that became important to me, and that I carried forward to my own family. We always, always opened presents Christmas morning, never before. We always went on some sort of vacation together every summer. We visited the grandparents often, and celebrated every holiday as a family. There's more, but these are the kinds of things I tried to instill in my kids.
Seth and Lacy will attest to the strict rule about Christmas morning, although we would usually allow one present Christmas Eve. And for several years, I would read the passage from Luke that told the story of Mary and Joseph and the baby Jesus, just like on Charlie Brown. My parents also started a tradition of having breakfast with us Christmas morning so they could see what Santa brought the kids. They would make the rounds between everyone's house, and then at some point, we'd head to Big Coon to have family Christmas with turkey (usually dry; my mom never mastered turkey), dressing and gravy (necessary for the turkey), green beans that had been canned the prior summer, and all the rest of the fixings. We would also travel to Woodville to visit with the other grandmother, making sure we ate something before we went (she was not what you would call an accomplished cook either). The holiday shuffle, we called it. Thanksgiving was much the same, as was Easter for a while. Then I put my foot down and decided that some holidays would be enjoyed as a family unit unto ourselves.
We also took vacations, although not as often as we would have liked. Going to the beach was an adventure - we couldn't afford a hotel, so we camped at the state park. It was hot, and sand against sunburn was more prevalent than in a hotel bed, but there were good showers and hot dogs on the grill, and full days spent making sand figures and picking up shells. Those are some of my most favorite memories. Often, my parents would take us all on a trip - to places like the Lost Sea or Cherokee. I think my dad planned these trips out of pity for the kids that had to sleep in tents in the sand at the beach. :)
After I was on my own and living in Huntsville, a couple of new traditions developed. Thanksgiving became a day for non-tradition. We would have chili, or chicken and dumplins, or "itty bitty turkeys" (cornish hens), and once it was just Lacy and myself and we spent the day watching chick flicks. Christmas was the most fun - the kids would come over Christmas Eve and we'd play Trivial Pursuit and have eggnog and beer and get crazy and have a great time being our little family of three. Of course, presents waited until the next morning.
Things change, however, and although I hung onto my traditions as long as I could, I've learned to let go and allow the kids to start their own. We've had Christmas on Christmas Eve, we've had Christmas when everybody was scattered to the wind, and Thanksgiving? Well, Thanksgiving is a toss-up. We never quite know what we're doing, but at some point over the weekend, we try to get together for a meal of some sort be it breakfast, lunch, dinner, or just finger foods and football. And we've not had a vacation together for some time, but we've had two "destination" weddings, and now we have visits to Chicago.
Easter has become an tradition of it's own with an adult version of the kid's tradition - the Easter Beer Hunt. For three years, we've had the gathering at my house in Huntsville, with a gang of friends and eager hunters, grilling and games and fun - be it cold and cloudy or, for once this year, a beautiful, sunny day (although it did rain early). I've been told that I have to bring the tradition to Chicago, as a few of the participants actually live here now, and I'm positive that I'll have to make a trip south to join in the fun wherever it lands next spring.
This year, the holidays are going to be full of new adventures. I'm sure I'll head south for Thanksgiving and the Auburn-Alabama game. I'd love to have everyone here for Christmas, but it will depend on weather and the other families that we have to accommodate. Maybe a New Year's trip up would be acceptable - and tons of fun for girls and boys of all ages. Whatever new, one-time "tradition" we end up with this year, I know that family will be at the heart of it. I'm glad that my kids have family instilled in them and I feel secure in knowing that they will instill the same in their own kids. And that they will build traditions of their own. It's good for kids to have something they can count on, and that is solid and known. It's good to have traditions to take comfort in, and to build fond memories. And it's good to reach that point when you can stretch your wings a little and develop your own traditions.
Now it's time for traditional tuna casserole. :)
Monday, August 30, 2010
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
same difference
Sitting on the balcony and listening to the sounds around me. Traffic, trains, dogs playing in the little dog park on the next block, an occasional laugh from a sidewalk table below, more traffic. And the sights; buildings of varying height made of varying material, lights at Cellular Field (evidently the Sox are in town), cars, trucks, motorcycles, buses, limos, cabs, Merchandise Mart all amber, the antennas at the tower just starting to glow. The clock at the Boeing building. Green Holiday Inn and blue Chase, and rose to the west as dusk sets in.
If I were still living in my little house with the big yard outside of Huntsville, the sights and sounds would be somewhat different....and the same. Instead of traffic it would be cicadas or crickets or tree frogs along with the occasional vehicle on the street. Kids playing, lawn mowers, trains, sirens on the highway, an occasional laugh from a neighbor walking the oval with kids or dogs. Sights - stars just beginning to pop out, the candle I might have burning on the deck, lights of the towers on Monte Sano, and rose to the west as dusk sets in.
Different, but not so much so. Just as life here is different, but not so much so. There's more variety in what to see and do, but still a lot of the same type things. Sports, walking, shopping, eating, air shows and boat shows and concerts in the park. There, I'd be less inclined to do these things by myself, or to go out of my way to meet with strangers with whom I share a common bond. Here, I'm forced to do just that; the things I never would do otherwise. I hope that, once I return to the familiar climes and landscapes I've known all my life, I manage to hang on to the willingness to go out on my own or to seek out others who enjoy like things. There are many experiences I hope to take back South with me, and I'm starting to realize that I may take more than that. I may take a new me, or at least, a different me.
Different, but not so much so.
If I were still living in my little house with the big yard outside of Huntsville, the sights and sounds would be somewhat different....and the same. Instead of traffic it would be cicadas or crickets or tree frogs along with the occasional vehicle on the street. Kids playing, lawn mowers, trains, sirens on the highway, an occasional laugh from a neighbor walking the oval with kids or dogs. Sights - stars just beginning to pop out, the candle I might have burning on the deck, lights of the towers on Monte Sano, and rose to the west as dusk sets in.
Different, but not so much so. Just as life here is different, but not so much so. There's more variety in what to see and do, but still a lot of the same type things. Sports, walking, shopping, eating, air shows and boat shows and concerts in the park. There, I'd be less inclined to do these things by myself, or to go out of my way to meet with strangers with whom I share a common bond. Here, I'm forced to do just that; the things I never would do otherwise. I hope that, once I return to the familiar climes and landscapes I've known all my life, I manage to hang on to the willingness to go out on my own or to seek out others who enjoy like things. There are many experiences I hope to take back South with me, and I'm starting to realize that I may take more than that. I may take a new me, or at least, a different me.
Different, but not so much so.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
of air and water
Although I've truly been jonesin' for the white sands and salt water of the Gulf Coast (first year I've not been there in several - not even sure how many), it is nice to have a body of water nearby that offers something fun or relaxing at any time. Lake Michigan is easy walking distance, and if nothing special is going on, you can just sit and watch the boats and people....especially the people. They come in all sizes and shapes and colors, aboard all manner of transportation, from feet to blades to bikes, segways, pedal-carts - you name it. They come dressed in anything from full head-to-toe coverage (whether for cultural/religious or for sun protection purposes) to oh-my-lord-please-cover-that-up to why-wear-anything-at-all. I have a couple of times just taken a towel and a book and some water and sat on the steps, watching more than reading.
Throughout the summer months, there are special events along or above or on the lake. This weekend is the annual Air and Water Show. I don't think watching the Blue Angels could ever get old, but the typical bi-wing daredevil stunts become boring after a while. Not discounting what they do and the skill and courage it takes, but once you've seen one loop-de-loop-de-loop, you've seen them all. Jets, however, are fast and exciting and powerful, and make big noise. For some reason, that always gets me in my center and I'm jealous of the thrill it must be to be behind the wheel, so to speak. I've always had a thing for the fast and furious, although I've rarely had any actual experience. Given the opportunity, I'd probably scream my head off before losing whatever stomach contents I possessed. If I had a bucket list, it would definitely include sky-diving and riding in a race-car, two things I would never have risked while my kids were growing up. Now that they're on their own and don't depend on me for food and shelter, it's more of a reality. Don't think I wouldn't.
In two weeks, another long-time dream of mine arrives on the lake - the "Tall Boats" come to Chicago. These are all tall-masted sailboats, from sloops to majestic mammoths like the "Bounty". In fact, the Bounty will be here - the very ship that was in the Marlon Brando version of the movie, and also in one of the "Pirates of the Caribbean" movies. When I was around 20, I saw an advertisement for a working cruise, called "Barefoot Cruises". It was on one of these tall-masted sailboats, and you could take a cruise on one while also being part of the crew. I don't know if they still have those, but I so badly wanted to do it then. I'm not a huge water person, I don't swim well, and I hate for my feet to be dangling down where I can't see what's about to grab them, but I love sailing. Maybe it's akin to my fascination with gliding and hot-air balloons - working with the forces of nature to soundlessly (or almost) be propelled along the water or in the sky, like a bird or dolphin, riding the wind and waves.
If I were the type, I'd say "in a former life I must have been a bird". I really think, though, that I view being in the sky or on deep water as a means of being away from the noise and stress and worries of everyday life here on the ground. It's a way to still your mind and just take in the world as it was at the beginning of time. And maybe how it will be when you finally quit this earth and become one with nature for good.
Yes, I realize the contrast between "fast and furious" and "calm and silent", but we all are really made up of opposite ends of the spectrum, and live our daily lives somewhere in the middle. If we're honest with ourselves, we are always longing for the extreme of one end or the other, and we rarely allow ourselves either. We should. We should take every advantage to "live life to the fullest" - and what does that mean but working both ends?
Throughout the summer months, there are special events along or above or on the lake. This weekend is the annual Air and Water Show. I don't think watching the Blue Angels could ever get old, but the typical bi-wing daredevil stunts become boring after a while. Not discounting what they do and the skill and courage it takes, but once you've seen one loop-de-loop-de-loop, you've seen them all. Jets, however, are fast and exciting and powerful, and make big noise. For some reason, that always gets me in my center and I'm jealous of the thrill it must be to be behind the wheel, so to speak. I've always had a thing for the fast and furious, although I've rarely had any actual experience. Given the opportunity, I'd probably scream my head off before losing whatever stomach contents I possessed. If I had a bucket list, it would definitely include sky-diving and riding in a race-car, two things I would never have risked while my kids were growing up. Now that they're on their own and don't depend on me for food and shelter, it's more of a reality. Don't think I wouldn't.
In two weeks, another long-time dream of mine arrives on the lake - the "Tall Boats" come to Chicago. These are all tall-masted sailboats, from sloops to majestic mammoths like the "Bounty". In fact, the Bounty will be here - the very ship that was in the Marlon Brando version of the movie, and also in one of the "Pirates of the Caribbean" movies. When I was around 20, I saw an advertisement for a working cruise, called "Barefoot Cruises". It was on one of these tall-masted sailboats, and you could take a cruise on one while also being part of the crew. I don't know if they still have those, but I so badly wanted to do it then. I'm not a huge water person, I don't swim well, and I hate for my feet to be dangling down where I can't see what's about to grab them, but I love sailing. Maybe it's akin to my fascination with gliding and hot-air balloons - working with the forces of nature to soundlessly (or almost) be propelled along the water or in the sky, like a bird or dolphin, riding the wind and waves.
If I were the type, I'd say "in a former life I must have been a bird". I really think, though, that I view being in the sky or on deep water as a means of being away from the noise and stress and worries of everyday life here on the ground. It's a way to still your mind and just take in the world as it was at the beginning of time. And maybe how it will be when you finally quit this earth and become one with nature for good.
Yes, I realize the contrast between "fast and furious" and "calm and silent", but we all are really made up of opposite ends of the spectrum, and live our daily lives somewhere in the middle. If we're honest with ourselves, we are always longing for the extreme of one end or the other, and we rarely allow ourselves either. We should. We should take every advantage to "live life to the fullest" - and what does that mean but working both ends?
Monday, August 9, 2010
happiness is....
Some of us remember those cute little naked (or nekkid) people in the cartoons that read "Happiness is..." and then some mushy sentiment of love or caring or whatever. On the way home from work I was thinking about happiness. Happiness vs contentment vs serenity - can you be serene and not be happy? Or can you be happy and not content? And so on.
It stems from my own question of happiness. Am I happy? What do I have to be happy about? I asked this of myself, and myself answered (in both angel and devil forms) "I have my kids" (who I miss). "I have a good job" (which I'm not exactly thrilled with). "I live in one of the best cities in the world" (alone). "I can still laugh at myself" (maniacally).
One of my foremost goals in life is just to be content. I don't have to be overjoyed. I don't need to be utterly at peace with the world. I just want to be content. With my life, with the products of my life, with myself, with those around me. I want to be the wise gramma who always has the answer, and cookies. I want the house and garden and dog and cat and baggy old pants and a man's hat. That's all down the road a bit, but I need to start practicing now.
I've been thinking, and dammit that always gets me in trouble, about who I am and how I am and why. Sometimes I think I need to seriously grow up, and then I think that it's not nearly as much fun. I wonder if I look absolutely ridiculous in my clothes, and wouldn't it be more appropriate to wear holiday sweaters and knit pants and sensible shoes, and then I think how I really don't care if I look "age appropriate" as long as I don't look like a hooker. I think, really, I'm afraid that if I grow up, I'll grow old. I was old in my 30's when I tried to be the serious breadwinner and make sure everything was taken care of while my ex-spouse had the time of his life. And that's part of what caused us to be on opposite ends of some spectrum. I grew old and he grew away. Not that I'd have it any other way now.
Still, I should start practicing a little to be the old coot. The purple wearing spitting woman of the poem "When I Am An Old Woman". But then again, maybe that's who I am and I don't realize it. The older I get, the less I care. Not about life but about appearances and keeping up and acting my age, whatever that means. And by golly, if the big truck hits me tomorrow, one thing my family better be able to say about me is that I was me and I was happy with that. Maybe there are a lot of ways my life could be better, more full, more "robust" as they like to say in the professional world. That would take too much work and I'm content to be a bit more mellow than that. So happiness is....being yourself and being content with just that.
It stems from my own question of happiness. Am I happy? What do I have to be happy about? I asked this of myself, and myself answered (in both angel and devil forms) "I have my kids" (who I miss). "I have a good job" (which I'm not exactly thrilled with). "I live in one of the best cities in the world" (alone). "I can still laugh at myself" (maniacally).
One of my foremost goals in life is just to be content. I don't have to be overjoyed. I don't need to be utterly at peace with the world. I just want to be content. With my life, with the products of my life, with myself, with those around me. I want to be the wise gramma who always has the answer, and cookies. I want the house and garden and dog and cat and baggy old pants and a man's hat. That's all down the road a bit, but I need to start practicing now.
I've been thinking, and dammit that always gets me in trouble, about who I am and how I am and why. Sometimes I think I need to seriously grow up, and then I think that it's not nearly as much fun. I wonder if I look absolutely ridiculous in my clothes, and wouldn't it be more appropriate to wear holiday sweaters and knit pants and sensible shoes, and then I think how I really don't care if I look "age appropriate" as long as I don't look like a hooker. I think, really, I'm afraid that if I grow up, I'll grow old. I was old in my 30's when I tried to be the serious breadwinner and make sure everything was taken care of while my ex-spouse had the time of his life. And that's part of what caused us to be on opposite ends of some spectrum. I grew old and he grew away. Not that I'd have it any other way now.
Still, I should start practicing a little to be the old coot. The purple wearing spitting woman of the poem "When I Am An Old Woman". But then again, maybe that's who I am and I don't realize it. The older I get, the less I care. Not about life but about appearances and keeping up and acting my age, whatever that means. And by golly, if the big truck hits me tomorrow, one thing my family better be able to say about me is that I was me and I was happy with that. Maybe there are a lot of ways my life could be better, more full, more "robust" as they like to say in the professional world. That would take too much work and I'm content to be a bit more mellow than that. So happiness is....being yourself and being content with just that.
Monday, August 2, 2010
hits and misses
Now that I'm fully ensconced in my new homeawayfromhome, having procured an Illinois drivers license and license plate(s), and having almost closed on my beloved house in Alabama (where the grass is surely crunchy and the shrubs and trees in danger of dying a shriveled, crispy death), I have decided I have to come up with some justifications for being an Illinois resident.
One that easily comes to mind is the $35 mani-pedi just half a block away. The Asian owners and employees have a limited vocabulary, and the end result may not be perfectly professional, but it's pretty damn good and well worth $35. The discount price is only Monday - Wednesday, but outside of those 3 days, it's still only $45. I've spent $65 on a pedicure alone back in Huntsville. Frankly, I'd never gotten a manicure until I walked into this place - I've never had nails, using the fact that they are ridged and they peel and are thin and fragile as an excuse to keep them cut back. Not that they'd ever grow anyway - with my propensity to digging in the dirt and hammering and cutting and nailing (different kind of nail), they never stood much of a chance. It's also difficult to quilt with nails; the thimble doesn't fit. There are all my excuses, and none really apply here (although I do hope to start a quilt this Fall).
So every 2-3 weeks I walk down to the the mani-pedi place and indulge in a massage chair, foot and lower leg exfoliation and rub down, hand/arm massage, and pretty toes and fingers. Even if I am broke, I can dig up $35 for that luxury.
Another plus is the celebrity action. Transformers 3 is currently filming, right in here downtown, and while I haven't actually managed to see any of the well-known participants, I have caught a little of the action. Just seeing the way they can turn hunks of styrofoam into wrecked cars, torn up streets, and pieces of bridge is pretty amazing.
I also have the chance to see Bruce Willis live and in color at my favorite beverage store - well, one of the many locations of my favorite beverage store. He'll be there for a charity event and admission requires a donation to the charity, but it still would be a chance I wouldn't have back home. There are celebs that actually live here and tend to frequent the many festivals and shows around town, so a sighting is always possible. Lacy even saw Opie at a breakfast place down the street! I'm sure he's fairly tired of being referred to by that name these days.
I have to admit there are reasons NOT to like being here, but most of them are far removed from my actual existence. The senseless murders that tend to pepper the south side - 13-year-old boys being shot as they ride their bicycles, cops killed outside their homes, bodies each weekend in double-digits. There's also the proverbial "omg the winters!!! and the traffic!!!!", but even worse are the waits for dinner anywhere on a weekend night, if you can get in at all, the racing crotch rockets that love to take the curve from Ontario onto the long expressway ramp at insane, helmetless speeds, and how lonely a city of a gazillion people can feel at any given time.
Most of all, the downside to being here is when I wake up feeling lost and missing my family, and I can't just call them up and say "let's do coffee, or lunch, or dinner". I miss "paint-n-pours", I miss after-works at the Nook, I miss lunch at Bandito or Blue Plate, I miss watching football with beer in hand on a Saturday afternoon, and I miss having them all a few minutes away.
There are lots of pluses to the move I've made, and one of them is having the kids come up and enjoy a weekend in the city. But there's a big minus in not having them here all the time. Hmmm....think I'd could convince them all to move?? :)
One that easily comes to mind is the $35 mani-pedi just half a block away. The Asian owners and employees have a limited vocabulary, and the end result may not be perfectly professional, but it's pretty damn good and well worth $35. The discount price is only Monday - Wednesday, but outside of those 3 days, it's still only $45. I've spent $65 on a pedicure alone back in Huntsville. Frankly, I'd never gotten a manicure until I walked into this place - I've never had nails, using the fact that they are ridged and they peel and are thin and fragile as an excuse to keep them cut back. Not that they'd ever grow anyway - with my propensity to digging in the dirt and hammering and cutting and nailing (different kind of nail), they never stood much of a chance. It's also difficult to quilt with nails; the thimble doesn't fit. There are all my excuses, and none really apply here (although I do hope to start a quilt this Fall).
So every 2-3 weeks I walk down to the the mani-pedi place and indulge in a massage chair, foot and lower leg exfoliation and rub down, hand/arm massage, and pretty toes and fingers. Even if I am broke, I can dig up $35 for that luxury.
Another plus is the celebrity action. Transformers 3 is currently filming, right in here downtown, and while I haven't actually managed to see any of the well-known participants, I have caught a little of the action. Just seeing the way they can turn hunks of styrofoam into wrecked cars, torn up streets, and pieces of bridge is pretty amazing.
I also have the chance to see Bruce Willis live and in color at my favorite beverage store - well, one of the many locations of my favorite beverage store. He'll be there for a charity event and admission requires a donation to the charity, but it still would be a chance I wouldn't have back home. There are celebs that actually live here and tend to frequent the many festivals and shows around town, so a sighting is always possible. Lacy even saw Opie at a breakfast place down the street! I'm sure he's fairly tired of being referred to by that name these days.
I have to admit there are reasons NOT to like being here, but most of them are far removed from my actual existence. The senseless murders that tend to pepper the south side - 13-year-old boys being shot as they ride their bicycles, cops killed outside their homes, bodies each weekend in double-digits. There's also the proverbial "omg the winters!!! and the traffic!!!!", but even worse are the waits for dinner anywhere on a weekend night, if you can get in at all, the racing crotch rockets that love to take the curve from Ontario onto the long expressway ramp at insane, helmetless speeds, and how lonely a city of a gazillion people can feel at any given time.
Most of all, the downside to being here is when I wake up feeling lost and missing my family, and I can't just call them up and say "let's do coffee, or lunch, or dinner". I miss "paint-n-pours", I miss after-works at the Nook, I miss lunch at Bandito or Blue Plate, I miss watching football with beer in hand on a Saturday afternoon, and I miss having them all a few minutes away.
There are lots of pluses to the move I've made, and one of them is having the kids come up and enjoy a weekend in the city. But there's a big minus in not having them here all the time. Hmmm....think I'd could convince them all to move?? :)
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