home and home

Being in Alabama for almost 2 weeks, with the warm Spring weather, the blossoms and birds, the mountains and blue skies, was spoiling.  I suddenly wanted to live there again.  Not only because of Lennon, but because it so feels like home to me.  Spring is a wonderful time in the South, despite the pine pollen.  I guess Spring is wonderful anywhere as it is such a renewal and revival of life in every form.

I was so sad to leave, and the sadness followed me all the way back to Chicago.  Reaching that point on I94 where the skyline was visible did something to me though.  And walking into my place and seeing the city lights outside, hearing the city noises, being surrounded by my familiar life and things, I felt I was home.

How can both places feel like home?  How can I "belong" in both small-city Alabama and big-city Illinois?  How can I enjoy both the 90-degree humid oven-like heat and the single-digit snowy cold?  What is it about living that makes it possible to love such extremes?  And feel safe familiarity with both?

I think the question is the same as "is it possible to be in love with two people at the same time?".  And I think the answer to both questions is "yes".  I've always felt it's possible to love more than one person - not family or friends, but to love two men equally, or two women.  Many people would argue that it's not right - you must love one more than the other.  I disagree, though.  There are so many elements to each of us, and people can bring out the best of various elements in us all.  Finding someone who satisfies us in every way is the ultimate hope, but if we're honest, we know that is unlikely.  We give something up in order to have the closest to perfect we can and to be happy with it.  Those that do find perfect perfect are very, very lucky.

I can't say that I love North Alabama and Chicago equally, but I think I could be equally happy living either place.  They each fulfill different elements in me, and in different ways.  Alabama satisfies my need for serenity and natural beauty and familiarity.  Chicago satisfies my need for adventure and discovery and change.  I don't know that there is a place that would do both, but I know I can work to find both anywhere I am.  That's the key to being truly happy wherever we are - finding a way to fulfill ourselves and use the elements at hand to do so.  Not a difficult thing to do if you're willing to put forth a little effort.  And if you're not dependent on someone else to fulfill you.  Still, where my family is will always win out in the competition for "home".